Snore

I haven't written this yet (as I type this sentence), but here's a poem inspired by the church men's retreats and family retreats that we have each a year:

Without fail, every year
the snorers strategically place themselves
at lest one per room.
Some years I remember my ear plugs
and even a fan to drowned it all out.
some years, I forget
some years, I regret
this year, I was on the bunk directly above my obligatory snorer
The year of the Drew had to be the worst
-worse than a freight train as if I were laying between the tracks as it passed overhead
I would try to trick myself into imagining that I was off in a cabin and
some old man was sawing logs in the distance, but invariably,
that old man would saw louder & louder until he started to choke to death
and then it turned out he wasn't actually sawing or choking,
but rather trying to start up his Harley.
Unfortunately, he was successful throughout the night at starting
and restarting that motorbike.
It wasn't off in the distance either.
The Harley was in my ear canal.
It's ironic that going to a church men's retreat would inspire me to want to kill another human.
Why would I fantasize about smothering a guy in his sleep?
After all, I'd just be putting a choking old man out of his misery.

Hell

Just a quick thought...

So many people have used the phrase, "The world is going to Hell in a hand basket."

Now that there's 6 billion(+) people in the world, wouldn't it at least be more like a grocery cart ?

The world going to Hell in a grocery cart...

Boat, Boat, don't fall off the Boat

This post is totally self-serving. I just felt like typing out my reminiscing.

When we were little kids, we used to play a fun ‘game’ called Boat, Boat, don’t fall off the Boat. Basically, all we would do is get every chair and sofa pillow in the house and stack them all on top of this leather barcalounger. Then we would get up on top of the princess-and-the-pea style stack and try not to fall off. Not once was it played where we didn’t end up ‘falling off the boat,’ so I guess you didn’t really win by staying on the boat. You won by getting to have fun and laugh. It would be pretty boring if you never fell off...

I could still be there today.

I’m going to visit my family next weekend. Maybe I should see if my siblings want to play just one more time.

Why did...

To truly understand humor, it helps to analyze classic jokes.

Today we'll talk about "Why did the chicken cross the road?" There have been many variations on this joke, but the original answer is, of course, "To get to the other side."

In painstakingly pondering over why this joke is so funny, I came to a simple conclusion.

It's not really that funny.

bitsow

There is, in the annals of our traditions, a saying that, shall we say, for the most part, drives home the point that the more we, as humans, incline ourselves to keep our delivery of the language to a minimum, the more our perceived intelligence increases in the mind of others. Said sayings are the essence of funniness and cleverness as long as they adhere to the principle that shorter is better. Quips are droll. As long as the proverb, adage, maxim, axiom, motto, aphorism and/or saying is tiny, petite, stunted, brief, diminutive, & undersized, then it will be considered in good standing at the core as being comical, amusing and/or humorous.

i.e. brevity is the soul of wit.

Untitled (simply entitled "Untitled")

My love is unbridled
The poem's untitled
The wave is un-tidaled

(Rhyme Scheme: A A A)