Thursday Band Names

It's Thursday, and you know what that means...
Time for another round of band name suggestions.
You're totally welcome to use any of these, or any combination therein - free of charge:

Mobile Lampshade Face
Forthwith Fishwith Fifth'll frith
Knee-knockin' Juggernauts
Noble Rancor Monster
Gutheadfeetfoot
Pippy-short & stocky
Never mind, it's your turn
iPod filler
Love Stain

I'm typing this before I think

I feel like I should add another post, but I've yet to think of an idea, so...here we go...

quit what every red tom york under influences of patriotic and sad damsels find grand having just knotted lazy zipper xenophobes 'cause virtual bounties never mention

OK. Five bucks to the first person that figures out where that came from.
Leave your guess(es) in the comments section.

IRON NICK

This is a link to the first submission from a reader.
Since the story is a bit longer than my usual posts, I'm putting a link here to the story.

I give you IRON NICK

Pot-Bellied Sneeches

I’m going to write a Dr. Seuss-esque story about a race that thought they were better than others because of their beer gut. Then when the others also grew beer guts to fit in, they put a tattoo of a pot leaf on their gut to differentiate themselves again and consider themselves better. At this point, they were Pot-Bellied twice over. When the “lesser Sneeches” leveled the playing field by tattooing as well, then the “betters” shoved large cooking pots onto their bellies. At this point the lesser Sneeches chopped off the bellies of the “betters” and cooked the bellies in the pots. It turns out if you push a Sneech too far, he becomes a cannibal.

Two Toe Charlie

I had a pretty good idea as to why they called him
"Two Toe Charlie."
What I did not realize, was that those two toes
were coming out of the side of his neck.

Buzz

I debated about posting this because it's stupid in too many ways...

If you have a friend that takes things too literally, then when you want them to call you on the phone, don't say, "Give me a buzz."
It's gonna take five weeks before my hair grows back out.

Guilt Gene

As a family therapist, I've become aware of an innate trait in humans.
It's called the Guilt Gene.
It manifests itself in a slightly different way in males and females.
When a wife or girlfriend is upset the man feels guilty.
When a wife or girlfriend is upset the woman feels that the man is guilty.

Lesson in Literature

One thing the majority of people overlook in prose is the importance of the use of the word "the."
It must be used sparingly. Take, for instance, the following incorrect sentence:
The hammock the fairy the the brothers the the the and the forlorn.

Lessons for Life

There are three things every man should know:

1. How to tell direction by using the Sun or Stars
2. How to skin a live goat using a toothpick and three blades of grass
3. You'll have to figure this one out for yourself, pal

Child of the 80's

I've always considered myself a child of the 80's.
Sure, technically, I was born in '76
but, when I was born, my parents were both octogenarians.

So, fine...

Well, I'm starting a new blog here. This was a stagnant page for a long time, but I was inspired by a friend in Nashville that started a page (link) like I'm gonna shoot for. So, if you enjoy weird, stupid things. You've come to the right place.